Alright so I am trying not to be pissy but it's just not working. I am currently sitting in my dorm room waiting for the EX to call so that I can go pick him up from the 'lounge' at the Best Western where he is drinking it up and playing pool against the G-ville townies. He has been there for over 2 hours now. Oh yeah, and he took me to dinner alright and then didn't even offer to pay for my meal. How does that work? God, I can't stand this. I have been waiting around all day for him to show up and then when he does we spend a couple hours together at the most and then he's off drinking IN MY TOWN. What the crap is his problem?!?!? Ship him home...I'm through

The big EX is coming in tonight and already my nerves are shot. I recall a couple months after we broke up having to go to the doctor because, and I will spare the details, I was not able to keep any food in my stomach. The result of this was the loss of about 10 pounds which I did not have to lose. I said all that to say this....I lost my lunch today. I honestly didn't even know that I was nervous about him coming until the point that I felt the rumble in my gut and then I knew that I was squelching my emotions. Yeah so....I hate the fact that he still has this much power over me. We haven't been together for almost two years so you would think that he wouldn't even be an issue anymore. Apparently he really screwed me up, more than I knew (nothing dirty intended).

The plan for the evening is dinner with him and his friend and hopefully SPAM just for added comfort. God I hope the evening goes smoothly!!!

I have talked to SATAN a couple times this week...first contact since he was here to visit. I suppose it's good that things have cooled off between us.

DD is looming in the picture somewhat with occasional run-ins, and late-night phone calls. No huge drama there and hopefully it will stay that way, although I am drawn to the good 'ol days.

OSCAR didn't make it into UCLA which really sucks because the doors seem to be closing in all around him. It has been mentioned on more than one occasion that he and I should move to LA and be roommates until he is discovered as the next big thing in Hollywood. The catch is that I would have to support him until that point...but wouldn't it be sweet if he did make it and suddenly I was reaping the benefits because I stuck by him through thick and thin??? Hey, if the Peace Corps doesn't work out, LA here I come!

So we are back from Florida finally!!! Last week was definitely the most draining break I have ever had physically and emotionally. When we first pulled up to the worksite, all that was there was a concrete foundation and when we left the walls were up and sheathed, and the tresses for the roof were in place. I never thought it would all come together in a week and I never thought that I would be of any use on the site but it turns out that I am quite handy with a hammer. Guess that could be a useful skill sometime in my life.

We also did alot of other things while we were in the sunshine state...went to the beach a couple times, saw a Phillies game, went to downtown Disney, ate out a couple nights, just enjoyed the warm weather basically.

Group dynamics were rather interesting. About 5 people out of the 19 were sort of the group outcasts due to the fact that they were either couples all over each other or just really asses. Pardon my French. On the long drive home we had an all out group fight causing 3 of these people to storm out of McDonalds in tears. Good times!

SPAM and I had a semi-interesting night...went riding with both of our ex's HERMAN and DD. We rode all over G-ville until around 2am. Oddly, the whole thing was really comfortable...just like old times. I hate how things change and yet I know that they change for the good alot of the times.