Less than two days from now I will have permanently scarred my body...that's right I'm getting a tattoo. I am not ashamed that I am scared out of my mind!!! What happens if I get 'under the needle' and it hurts so bad that I physically can't stand the pain and am forced to make them stop? What if instead of the incredibly cool design I have in mind, I end up with nothing more than a mark because I don't let them finish. It's a possibility. I'm a wuss.

Last night I 'cut the cord' with the bff's brother, and yeah, it was alittle weird. Although I was as clear as possible, I still don't think he got it especially when he ended the conversation by saying, "well I guess I'll make other plans for Friday, that is unless you decide you want to still go out..." Sometimes, particularly with guys, I feel like I must be speaking gibberish because they never seem to understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. Even pure bluntness doesn't work. I suppose all out rudeness would be the next step, but then again that's not typically my style, unless I am being stalked. It may have to come to that though.

The biggest excitement of my entire day (and I mean this in a good way especially since I know he'll read this:o) was when I got a call from PRECIOUS out of the blue while I was struggling through a kiddie lit book. We caught up since it's been a few months, and it made me laugh but miss the old days. Anymore we are all so spread out. It's hard to realize that things will never be the same again.

And on that note, I'm going to bed

Boys are the devil, that's all there is to it. I swear I am done with the complicated creatures. For the past four years SATAN has been in and out of my life; one minute I'm his entire world, the next I don't exist. He used to have such control that I would come running at his beckon-call. I'm better now, but there is still that intrigue that just gets to me about him...that's why he's the devil.

There is also STALKER, who never seems to have a clue that I would rather he jump off a cliff than ever talk to me again. He just keeps calling and keeps visiting me. Do I have to be outright brutal or what? Last night he calls me at 1am after my roommies ran him off hours earlier telling him that I was not home. Now I don't have a problem with friends who like to call at 1am, but guys that I hate...are you serious? I said less than five words to him and he kept on talking. He asked me out for the weekend to which I told him that I have plans, and then he asked me out for coffee sometime, to which I said I would get back to him. Every normal guy would have gotten the picture at that point, oh but no...this has been going on for three weeks and he's oblivious. Complete lack of tact is my only option!

One final note. It's not usually a good idea to start dating your best friend's brother whether seriously or not. Just don't do it. Talk about complications!

So I sat here last night and wrote my precious little heart out only to realize that nothing was ever posted...what a waste of time!

I found out today that one of the dearest people to my heart, OSCAR, has been cut from his final college theatrical production due to a conflict of personalities. It breaks my heart because I know how much this play meant to him. Acting is his dream, and that has been taken away for now. Brutal.

Two different professors have been trying to get me to take this Strengths Finder test thingy that is supposed to basically tell you who you are, if you haven't figured that out yet. Well today I broke down and took the dang thing. I have discovered that I am an individual who displays 1) empathy, 2) restoration, 3) discipline, 4) belief, and 5) development. There you have it...that is who I am apparently. I never knew.